nothing about this looked safe

working on the edge.

missing everyone

today i got to catch up with a friend that i havent seen in a while. i tend to think about a lot of people throughout the day. some people i havent seen in several years and others i see on a daily basis. its weird how a single thought about something completely unrelated to the person can set off a chain on thoughts that leads you to them.

example... last night as noah was laying next to me in bed it made me think about how tiny he used to be, but even when he was 3lbs he still had the same little face. which lead to me think about all the hustle and bustle that was constantly happening in the nicu. which led to me thinking about when ryan came to visit him for the first time. and then i thought about ryan being in the coast guard which made me think about other people i know in the military and then that made me think about will (my ex from high school) in iraq. and it all started with me watching noah sleep. such a scattered brain i have!

anyways, what i was getting at is even though i have a horrible habit of losing touch with the people i love and care about, it doesnt mean that i dont think about them on a very regular basis. i feel like im always thinking "i really need to catch up with kitty, i miss her. or i havent talked to my dad in a while. or i wonder what amanda and hollie are doing up at school." and as im thinking those things i tell myself im going to make an effort to get ahold of everyone soon, but then the busy-ness of life sweeps the thought away until it pops back up the next day.

a lovely first

today as noah was leaving for his story time with daddy he said his first "i love you", he was so excited and proud of himself. i was too! he's my most favorite thing.

journals to blogs

i've always thought about starting a blog, i have so many random thoughts throughout the day that i figure someone out there may find them as entertaining as i do. i think it would also be a nice hobby for me to pick up, my writing skills have taken a sharp downward dive since leaving school in 2006.

about a year ago i thought id start a little composition journal of noah's daily accomplishments and antics. i thought it would be nice to look back years from now and laugh at little tantrums as well as major milestones that you tend to forget over the years. a nice intention, i know, but it lasted all of 2 entries.

writing by hand has almost become a nuisance now that our computers tend to be attached to our hips. my hand writing had nearly been perfected after hours of note taking while away at school, and now the extent of my writing by hand has been reduced to the grocery list. and trust me, ive contemplated typing that out as well, however i have no printer. ah... it would be so nice to easily edit my list in order to follow the layout of the grocery store.

while a hard copy of a journal would have been a nice keepsake, a blog will be nice for friends and family to read that don't get to enjoy noah's little quirks as often as i do. and there it is, my first entry, im feeling confident about it. lol